Tips Against A-Holes

Finally! Something I know about!
Please note- these are not revenge tips; these are to annoy people who deserve them.
Also, these only really work if you're good- good person, good worker, whatever. If you're bad at what you are... well, you're screwed, ain't ya?

1) If you are up against someone who tries to bully or threaten you verbally or physically- laugh at them. Nothing pisses off someone who's trying to intimidate you like you being so amused by their efforts that it's a joke to you. If they make (what they think are) cutting remarks, take it further and make an even better joke- at your expense.
2) Never get mad at them (in public). If they lose their temper, all the better for you as everyone will see what dickholes they are. The only exception is if their a-holeness hurts someone else.
3) Never hit them (the same exception from above applies). And if you have hit them, knock their ass the fuck out.
4) Use "I told you so" as often as possible BUT have facts, dates, meeting notes, whatever it takes to prove they were wrong. Merely saying "called it" doesn't work if you are stumped by the question "when?".
5) Be logical, not emotional. Very "Vulcan", I know but it's true. A person who can base decisions on logic will always show up someone who uses emotion to justify their actions. The exception is (obviously) in/for an emotionally situation.
6) Don't be afraid to lose your job. Some people are natural asses (the bad kind) and need to be taken down a peg or so- even people above you on the job totem pole. If you fear losing your job that much, kiss ass and expect the taste and smell to stay with you.