Worst Timing E-V-E-R

OK- everybody knows I’m moving next week and what happens last night? I meet my dream girl. OK- the version of it that everyone jokes is mine.

I go to a strip club, not by myself (not that much of a loser). Me and my friend are checking out the dancers, seeing which we want lapdances from.
Then SHE struts out on stage. Pale white skin, deep rich red hair, a graceful dancer with a fantastic un-enhanced body (beyond some ink).
My jaw drops and I turn to my friend and tell him that’s where my money is going tonight. When she gets off stage, I almost literally flag her down. We get 1 dance (during which I notice the bump on the bridge of her nose; she draws attention to it later) before they open up the 2nd stage and she has to go on again.
Later, she finds me and we head towards the lounge. Now the kinda sad thing is- we talk the VAST majority of the time. Seriously. We’re chatting so long, my friend texts me and leaves (sorry, dude).

Some of what I learn:
She strips to work her way through vet school, and has 4 cats and several dogs (she refers to them as her children). Her world views are much the same as mine. She loves cartoons, comic books, and Zombie Hooker Nightmare. She’s bisexual. Kind of a klutz. She even has some of the same OCDs I do!!
Apparently, she finds me fun, witty, cute, and sensual (not explaining that one but our cloths were on). Later I learn her real name is “Heather”.
The rest of our night is edited for our younger viewers, but :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
OK, just 3 :) s.


So to sum up:
1) I’m moving in less than a week AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD
2) I meet a 20 year-old woman who (in no particular order):
a. Is a stripper
b. Is bisexual
c. Has red hair
d. Has a fantastic body, beautiful eyes, and a great smile
e. Has the name “Heather”
f. Doesn’t have a “perfect” nose
g. Likes to talk and thinks me good company
h. Likes many of the same things I do- including pets
i. Is a genuinely interesting person
j. Is into me



It is official- God hates me with a passion.











Another reason for "worst timing"- I have to move my furniture into storage this afternoon and now my knees are killing me.