Poor people get bored too. Living on the dole (as I am), you discover there’s just so much TV, DVDs, books, comic books, porn, internet, video games, and at-home activities you can do before you start to go cRazY- especially if you have no artistic outlet.
So I decided that every Wednesday I would scrape together some cash and try something new or something I haven’t done in a while: indoor rock climbing, a comedy improv class, learn to play the ukulele, etc.
Today, I took a drive and did some snow skiing.
It’s been years since I’ve been around snow, and even more since I’ve been skiing. But “what the hell” was the only thought in my mind.
I was a little shaky on my first run, picking up speed on my second. It wasn’t until my fifth (and final) run when the inevitable “oops” happened.
Partway down, I strayed off a bit while attempting to adjust my sunglasses when I hit a slick patch. Both skis shunted far too quickly to my right, throwing me completely off-balance. On instinct, I jabbed my right pole down but my legs were moving too fast and my pole hit the ground between my legs. This, of course, sent the pole THWACKING into my joy department. At the same time, my left pole went down only to get caught under the left ski. So basically, all my limbs were tangled up in each other. The whole thing happened in less than a second.
It was at this time that I went into serious Sports Blooper mode.
Later, as I was gingerly attempting to pick myself up, the couple who was behind me stopped to check if I was OK. Through tears of laughter and a look of concern, the lady mentioned she had never seen anyone stop himself using only his face while the guy noted the face-groove in the snow was about 10 to 12 feet long.
My right ski fractured, a clasp of the left ski bent to the point that the boot refuses to lock into it, and the entire bottom of the left pole is missing. The whole set is a total write-off and is currently adorning a dumpster in Truckee. And my sunglasses now come “some assembly required”.
As for me? I survived (obviously). Banged, bruised, but ultimately- unkillable.
I think I’ll be happily bored for a while.
4 comments:
Well, it is good you did not break anything. But what I would pay to see a video of this one! I think it would be better you don't try anything that could kill you. You don't have the best luck..Sorry.
This made me giggle..glad you are ok, but thanks for the amusement.
red
Yes, I bet it was something to see (happen to someone else). I was told the spray of snow was quite impressive.
:)
WHAT THE HELL!? Though it is rather funny...
-Powder
Owww. Nice that you're trying new things tho :P
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