Worst. Trip. E-V-E-R.

Before I even start- this rant is not about why I went or who I saw; this about getting there and back.

I should have realized it was going to be bad when the night before I was up late due to a computer crash and my dehumidifier hose cracking. So when I awoke at 4am Friday to go to work, I was already exhausted. My job was fine and I worked my 8 hours straight so I could get off early. After I got home, I packed up Fred and took her to the kennel then went to a hardware store to buy a new hose and some caulk cement (there was a crack I had missed when I re-mortared). When I got home, I found I bought the wrong size hose and ended up jamming it in, hoping it would stay.

My ride showed up and I was off to the airport. I got through security, plopped down, and watched some shows. About 30 minutes to take-off, they announced there was a problem and my 6pm flight would be delayed an hour. I wasn’t too concerned as my lay-over was almost 2 hours. An hour later they announced the plane was broken so another was being sent- in an hour & a half. After speaking with customer service, I discovered my connecting flight was not only United’s last flight to Sacto for the day but ORD’s last flight to Sacto for the day. Rather than wait, they booked me on a US Air flight that left ORD at 4am and got into SMF at 9:30am. For my inconvenience, they gave me a $150 travel voucher.

At this point, I have to mention I had not eaten since Thursday evening. And ATW only sells beer and cheese once you’re past security.

My flight finally came and went, with us arriving 10 minutes after my connecting flight had left. Figuring I would be sleeping at the airport, I wondered around and passed the gate where my connecting flight was to have departed. Lots of people were milling about. I inquired and found that the plane pushed back ten feet from the gate and died. An hour later they announced another plane would be taking us as they couldn’t fix this one. Oh, and the new plane would arrive in an hour & a half.
Everything except the newsstand was closed so I paid $9 for a small bag of beef jerky.

So it was after I was originally to arrive to Sacto when I left Chicago. I snoozed much of the way, and we arrived sometime between 2 and 3am. They did not serve anything to eat.

It was raining on and off all Saturday while we were packing my things into the rental van. Otherwise, no complaints.
It was about 3pm that we stopped by lunch and I got my first meal in 2 days.

On Monday, Mother Nature put out a hit on me.
The storm front which was supposed to come in Wednesday evening hit Monday afternoon, making the Northern routes impassable within an hour. Not wanting to get stuck, I decided to leave immediately and take a longer Southern route. Longer by 10 hours of driving.

There were the usual headaches on I-99, followed by thunderstorms on and off until Bakersfield. Then I was slammed with the worst snowstorm I have ever witnessed. The blanket of snow falling down was so heavy I couldn’t see the road, much less where to get off. Fortunately, it was wet snow so it melted as soon as it reached ground level and stopped altogether after 20 minutes.

I gassed up in Barstow and headed to Needles. The van I was in was getting about 8-9 miles a gallon BUT absolutely no gas stations were open between the two cities. I ran out of gas 2 miles outside Needles and had to walk alongside the highway at 1am in the pitch dark. Once that was sorted, I slept for 3 hours.

Shortly after starting again, I encountered the worst icestorm I ever witnessed about 60 miles West of Flagstaff. It came out of nowhere and faster than anything I’ve heard of. The vehicles on the road had no warning. One minute everyone was fine, and the next we’re sliding all over the place. Seven semis went off the road- one doing 2 or 3 360s. I lost control of the van for only a moment.
Flagstaff itself was snowed under.

The rest of Tuesday was quiet until I reached Albuquerque. Sandstorms. Ever try to pump gas in a sandstorm? It’s not fun.

Going Northeast from there, there were windstorms on and off, with gusts up to 50 mph. And some of the most boring landscape you could ever witness- yellow fields and small brown mountains. Lots of ‘em.

Part of my route took me from New Mexico to Texas to Oklahoma to Kansas in a little over one hour.
Kansas is a desolate nothing of déjà vu. Every city with a population under 20,000 looks exactly the same. Seriously. If you doubt me, drive East on a US highway through that armpit. Go ahead. I will accept only a formal written apology for your doubt.

There were guns being waved around in the parking lot of the hotel my sister recommended when I got to Dodge City.
So I got the hell outta Dodge.
Which extended Tuesday’s travel by 2 hours until I reached I-135. On the way, I think I may have hit an opossum :(
The person behind the counter at the hotel was the most androgynous Pat-looking thing I have ever seen. No idea the gender. The nametag said “Kris”.
I got into my room and passed out from exhaustion while taking off my shoes.

I was awoken by the maid to find I never managed to get under the covers and had slept on top of the sheets. AND had slept through 2 alarm clocks. So I was already behind when I left.

I was delayed further by a bridge that was out. Aside from that, it was smooth sailing until I-35.
More windstorms. MASSIVE windstorms. And they kept getting worse the further I got. I saw several vehicles, including a semi, pushed into the ditches by the winds. Much of the time I had my wheel at a 45-degree angle just to keep in my lane.

I quickly decided there was no way I would make it to home that day so I made several stops and met the slowest moving man ever. He actually LOOKED like a turtle.
I stopped for the night in Des Moines where the temperature dipped into the single digits at night. Fortunately there wasn’t any water on the roads.

I was off early Thursday and made good time. My main issue that day was mental and physical exhaustion.
I reached the Fox Valley about noon and immediately had to slow down. The stormfront that dogged me the entire way had brought 7-12 inches of icey snow the day before. Luckily I had no problems and pulled up to my house a bit after 2pm.
I “pulled up” as I couldn’t get into my driveway due to the snow- which had melted and refroze, making it unmanageable for my snowblower. It took me over 2 hours to clear the minimum of my drive and walkways with a shovel.
Then I went downstairs to discover the hose I shoved into my dehumidifier did NOT work and the dehumidifier had shut down when the tank was full- meaning lots of moisture in my cellar. Add to that my control knob on my washing machine came off in my hand.

*sigh*

But it’s done now (hooray).
I would like to thank everyone who helped me load and unload, my friend who put me up for the night (where were the damn pillow mints?!), those who carted me around, and whose those plans changed suddenly Monday afternoon (sorry ‘bout that).
Despite all the drama it was great to see you again.

And to remember why I left :)

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Before I begin, I would like to thank The Dumb Broad (my sister), Scott (my bro-in-law), and Lemon Drop (my roomie) for helping to make my vacation possible and enjoyable.

My trip to Los Angeles started out very early Friday morning. Early enough that I was on the road a little after 5am. Traffic was extremely light and I sailed along the highways. About 9:15, I received a call with a job offer (WOOHOO!!)- quite a good way to start to journey. I arrived into LA about 10 to 11, and went straight to Wakko's on Hollywood Blvd. It's a shop of the bizarre, for the bizarre, with tons of little amusements and definitely worth a look if you're ever in the neighborhood. After that, I went to lunch with my sis at Paramount. About 1:30, I left and did some more shopping before heading to my sister's place in Sunland. At night, we went out for sushi where the owner sang me "Happy Birthday" in Japanese and gave me homemade Green Tea ice cream. She slipped the mask over my head from behind so I didn't know what I was wearing until I saw the Polaroid (which will NEVER be seen again).

We left for Disneyland and California Adventure (we had hopper passes) early Saturday morning and arrived minutes before the park opened. It was drizzly out, so there weren't as many people there as normal (or so I was told). After getting a locker for our drinks, we started hitting the rides and attractions. My 3 favorite rides (of those we went on) are: Star Tours, Splash Mountain, and Muppet 3D. We made the mistake of going on the Mad Hatter Tea Party ride at around 10am which made us nauseous for a good amount of time. California Screamin' (their largest ride) broke down when we were next in line for the front row- sucky but better than getting trapped on the rails. I got soaked to the bone on Splash Mountain and spent the rest of the evening shivering. We stayed until just prior to the park closing at midnight (all the lines were under a 5-minute wait). There was too much to see and ride on 1 day though. I'll need to come back some time.

Sunday was a mostly lazy day as we were exhausted from Disney. It was after 1pm before we got out of the house. We did some grocery shopping, visited some friends, and came back to watch the Lakers kick the snot outta the Magics!!! Afterwards, we went out for dinner and to a bar for some drinks. When we returned, we played the 80s Edition of Trivial Pursuit (my sis & her hubby beat me by 1 pie piece).

I was up by quarter to 7 Monday morning and on the road by quarter after. It was smooth sailing until I ran across a huge traffic jam about 175 miles along. Seems 3 semis crashed together, with 1 cab crushed flat. It was over an hour before traffic began moving which slowed the rest of my trip home too (traffic had backed up well over 15 miles). I finally got home about 2:30 to find my computer's C-drive was trojaned. Whee.

All in all, a great weekend! Only on my 3rd day on the new job, and I'm looking forward to my next vacation :)





Pics will follow soon (hopefully).

She's Dumb In Smart Ways

Fred does not like to see me go.
She's seen me get ready for a journey many times before and somehow in the depths of her fuzzy little brain remembers that she will be left behind. Given- she's left behind at a highly rated pet hotel with a heated indoor pool and loads of other dogs to play with, but as I'm not there with her- to her, she's being abandoned.

So last night, she set about to sabotage me:
1) Fred did something very unusual for her: she went up on a counter and snatched all the snacks I had laid out for my trip. I caught her with her snout halfway through my beef jerky. Still smelt it on her breathe this morning.
2) Fred went to my suitcase (packed full but not zipped close yet), tossed out everything, laid down in it, and took a nap. I couldn't help thinking she was trying to pack herself. I mentioned to her that it would have been a more successful attempt if maybe she had covered herself with a shirt.



Merry X-Mas!