My Drunken State of Affairs

As I sit in my porch swing, the scent of the lilacs in bloom in my yard is all around. It's funny how the smell of these flowers reminds me of soap.
It's warm out. Only mid-80s but with 85% humidity. The last week had seen a record-high (109 with the heat index). But I bought a new A/C unit which is awe-some. So much so I might have to take out my thermal socks soon.
Yesterday I did as little as possible, mostly couch-potatoing (although I did an 8-mile bike ride in the morning which, on a bike 1 year older than myself, is a lot of work).
Today I did gardening and repainted half of my garage roof. I bought a great old Corona metal cooler this morning at a flea market, filled it with beer, and emptied it of beer. I'm mostly sober now. Mostly.

Life is pretty good (the house is great, Fred is well, the fridge is fully stocked with beer and meat, I have money in the bank (!!!??!!), and my new smartphone kicks ASS).
And that... bothers me. Life hasn't been this good for this century. I keep expecting the trapdoor to open then I will plummet into the shark-filled tank. When you've gotten used to pain and challenges at every step, what do you do when things go your way?
Not that everything's perfect. Despite dating and what can only be described as "booty calls", there's no long-term relationship anywhere in my future. Apart from the companionship I miss, I find I'm OK with that. Truly. I've become too territorial.
I'm back to taking pills daily to try to cope with my insane blood pressure. They do their job, but the side-effects (weight gain and lethargy) suck monkey balls.
But that's it. Nothing else circling over me like vultures.



Then there're those still in CA.
Got a text Friday from a friend there, stating her company laid off herself and 3 others. That's horrible for her. Seriously. I've been there far too many times.

And that makes only one person left that I know in CA who has not been jobless since I've known them.
One person.
One.
I keep wanting to tell them to come here. "Hey", I say, "move here; I have beer".
Everyone seems so weighed down in CA. All those chains that only I can see because they're no longer manacled to me.

Earlier I was adding some photos to an album and came across a picture of someone I hadn't thought of in a while (which is good). I had forgotten what she looked like (and, it turned out, how to spell her name). Out of drunken boredom/curiosity (same thing?), I read some of her blog.
wow.
Things had really changed with her over the years, and not in an upward momentum kind of way. Beyond her Dog and copious alcohol binges (which could go whether way but I'll give the benefit of the doubt (J/K- hers are on the Dark Side of the Drink)), I could locate in her tales nothing she thought of as positive. Sure I only went through 2 pages of blog entries but still!
She seemed like most everyone else in CA- crushed by the weight of trying to make a life in a state that actively works against people trying to make a life there.

But they won't move. California has a certain status. California has culture. It's a clique of sorts. I miss that part of it.
And I miss my friends in CA. That's part of why I want them to move.

In my little drunken way, I want to help them. I stupidly want to fix their problems. I hereby offer them what I can- kind words, laughter, advice, really filthy porn sites, the knowledge of how to kill rats and chickens, beer money, anything I can as I can't offer them a shoulder when they need one.

I now believe life isn't always so hard. Not always. Not forever, not forever ever. Even if they don't.
I wish things were better for them. I believe life will improve.


Even IF they stay in CA