10 Tips To Freak Out Your Parents

NOTE- For best results, use on uptight, conservative parents. If you don't have uptight, conservative parents... what the hell- try it anyway.





1. Facial tattoos.
2. Refer to your parents as "my niggaz" at every opportunity.
3. Tell your parents about a new "love of your life" and that you're considering proposing. When they ask to meet the person, tell them "John" will be out in 7 months with good behavior. If you are female, change the name to "Joan".
4. Tell your parents about the last time you got really drunk. In vivid detail. Show pictures if you have any.
5. Explain the differences in flavor between types of marijuana. Use terms more commonly applied to wine- such as "woody", full bodied", or "has plenty of nose".
6. Tell your parents your plan to remodel their house after they "snuff it". Have blueprints ready.
7. Ask your parents for a loan of $400. When they ask what it's for, tell them "shits & giggles".
8. Get anything pierced that is covered by underwear. Then offer to show your parents.
9. Tell your parents about this new cult you joined. Try to get them to join also. Make certain to have plenty to Kool-Aid around when you do this one.
10. Casually mention that human flesh tastes more like pork than beef. Simply drop this into any conversation.