My Bank Is Run By Idiots

MY E-MAIL:
I have a complaint concerning your branch at 5322 STOCKTON BLVD.
SACRAMENTO, CA 95820-5412.
I went there this morning to deposit some checks and was told by Karen, the teller, that I was not allowed to be there with my sunglasses on. There were no posted signs stating so nor did the security guard at the door say anything. Mine are presciption
sunglasses and, by removing them, I cannot see. Literally. I CANNOT SEE. So to use your bank this morning, I had to render myself sightless.
What kind of idiotic policy is that? Maybe "all personnel wanting to do
business at this branch must handicap themselves" should be your new
motto.
I am SEVERELY disappointed with the service.

THEIR REPLY E-MAIL:
Thanks for contacting WaMu, now a part of Chase!

I'm sorry our financial center did not meet your customer service
expectations. Providing excellent service is the most important part of
our business and I apologize we didn't do a better job with your
interaction.

I appreciate you letting us know your feedback so that we may work to
improve our service and operations. To ensure this situation is
addressed, I've forwarded your comments appropriately.

There are many choices in banking today, and WaMu is glad to have you as
a customer. Since we strive to provide premier customer service during
every interaction, we believe acting on your feedback is critical to our
success. I hope you find your future interactions with us, whether by
phone, by email, in person, or at an ATM, reflect that commitment to
service.

MY REPLY TO THEIR REPLY E-MAIL:
Wow.

Out of all the form letters I have ever seen, this response beats them all for sure lack of giving-a-damn.

Did anyone even READ my email or was a response automatically generated in response to keywords? Yet another example of your failure at people-skills like those I mentioned in my original email.

From now on, I will limit my interactions to the ATMs as they are sadly more customer-friendly. Of course- as long as my money stays with your bank, what do you care if I'm not satisfied?

I would say not to bother responding but I somehow get the feeling a reply will be generated by some computer somewhere and sent regardless.

Lightning Rod for Crazy Part 2 (4/21/8)

I may have solved my late-night visitor problem.

I found peanut shells in my backyard Saturday morning. So that afternoon, I got to work- ATeam style, baby!
I fixed my front floodlight, added (decorative) lights in the backyard (just enough so I could see anything between them and the bedroom window), placed rakes and shovels in strategic areas in the backyard (think Sideshow Bob), tied the sidegate closed with serrated wire (if you simply untie it- nothing; if you pull it, it saws into you), and spread snap-caps all over the pathway leading to the gate (where I purposely disabled the floodlight there).
And I stayed up late that night (more difficult than it sounds as I've come down with whatever sickness is being passed around at work (I'm at home right now)).
About 3am, POP!POP!POP! From the side path came a high-pitched scream, and I threw on the floodlight. Someone made a dash for the street (oh, did I forget to mention I rigged tripwires back there?). THUD!!! The heavy sound of a body hitting the earth (too bad she hadn't gone to the right and came across the tripwires on the trashcans). A moan and cursing. Shortly after, there was the sound of a car pealing away, and inside- me laughing my ass off.

I honestly haven't had that much enjoyment of e-vil in a while :)

10 Tips To Freak Out Your Parents

NOTE- For best results, use on uptight, conservative parents. If you don't have uptight, conservative parents... what the hell- try it anyway.





1. Facial tattoos.
2. Refer to your parents as "my niggaz" at every opportunity.
3. Tell your parents about a new "love of your life" and that you're considering proposing. When they ask to meet the person, tell them "John" will be out in 7 months with good behavior. If you are female, change the name to "Joan".
4. Tell your parents about the last time you got really drunk. In vivid detail. Show pictures if you have any.
5. Explain the differences in flavor between types of marijuana. Use terms more commonly applied to wine- such as "woody", full bodied", or "has plenty of nose".
6. Tell your parents your plan to remodel their house after they "snuff it". Have blueprints ready.
7. Ask your parents for a loan of $400. When they ask what it's for, tell them "shits & giggles".
8. Get anything pierced that is covered by underwear. Then offer to show your parents.
9. Tell your parents about this new cult you joined. Try to get them to join also. Make certain to have plenty to Kool-Aid around when you do this one.
10. Casually mention that human flesh tastes more like pork than beef. Simply drop this into any conversation.