Wednesday #13

Today was like any other day, only less so.
I've been ignoring things lately. Almost every thing I possibly can. My diet borders on ridiculous, almost to the point that I go out with friends just to force myself to eat with them. My household chores go undone. My playtime with Fred is at a minimum (in my defense- the weather has been very unpleasant). My personal grooming... well, look back to my statement concerning food & going out with friends and you'll get the idea.
I have become completed unmotivated. No job, unemployment is running out, old people I like keep dieing, and frankly- my new "people friendly" persona is weighing on me (ever try to brood with a smile on your face?). Even drinking is no longer effective- as a motivator or a pain-killer.

But I did do something today: I made a decision to move. I've spent a lot of time, effort, and money making this place my home, more than any other, but I can't manage it much longer.
However the decision isn't complete. I still need to figure out where to go. At this time, I have 3 choices and all of them seem like... crushing defeats compared to my current home. With all of them, I lose room, independence, and certain freedoms.
Aside from the simple and very real ache of losing this house, there's also breaking my promise to myself that I would never again live with someone who wasn't "The One". Apart from being late, breaking my word (even to myself) is what I loathe the most. Sadly, my choices are too limited to afford living alone.
And the urge to stay in this city is both lessening due to 2 friends moving away and strengthening due to a growing connection. Relocating to either 1 of the other 2 choices means a different state and relatives (can't you almost hear the sound of canned Halloween screams in the background?).


So I have 10 days to decide my fate. Well- my housing fate. :)