Just In Case

Well, it's now under 20 hours until I leap to my doom from a plane. Gotta admit, I'm kinda nervous. I hope skydiving's not as terrifying as I imagine it to be. I hope it's actually fun. I hope it's a thrill and I want to try it again. I hope I don't sh*t myself on the way down... or before I jump.

But just in case (oooo, nice link to the title!) of any unforeseen incidents (the chute doesn't open, the chute opens but the tandem harness breaks and my instructor watches helplessly as I plummet to my death, zombies, the plane is hijacked and forced to fly to Detroit, The Rapture, the inflight movie is "Paul Blart: Mall Cop", we hit a flock of sparrows while in freefall and I'm harpooned to death by dozens of tiny beaks, a meteorite smacks right into my groin, zombie sparrows- stuff like that), I'd like to say it's been nice knowing you. Some nicer than others, so you others should have tried harder- ya slackers.


See ya in hell!!!
:)

In Dedication To A Truly Decent Man

I received a call this morning at 6:30 from my Xfiancée, informing me that her grandfather (whom I had not seen in almost 10 years) had passed away. Some of you might be asking yourselves:
1) Why is your Xfiancée calling you? 2) Why do you care?

Answers:
1) After the break-up (quite a while after), my X and I resumed our friendship. We had been good friends before, why not again? It took time and effort, but it seemed worth it.
2) I liked her grandfather. He was a genuinely good person- kind and funny, always willing to chat. Plus, apart from her brother and younger sister, he was one of the only members of her family that liked me. Even years later, he would ask about me. He laughed so much about the son-in-law segment of the attached video.
Later on, as my own health began to decline, he became something of an inspiration to me. He suffered heart attacks, strokes, circulatory problems, diabetes, and more- to the point of causing him to lose parts of his limbs. And yet, he kept surviving. Years and years and years in therapy and hospitals, and he kept going. It’s just… amazing to me.

My heartfelt condolences on his passing.

Grace

I traveled to Arizona for Christmas and stayed at my aunt's place in Cave Creek. She has 110 acres there with 5 houses on it and takes care of a 103 year-old woman- Grace Frederick (formerly Voss).

I've known Grace for 25 years. When I first met her (in her 80s), Grace was full of life and stories and humor. She was a Broadway star and literally the first woman ever broadcast on television. I recall being so in awe of her when I was a child. During more recent years, her mind began to decline. She could still remember her stories & her wit and personality were there, but she had trouble with names and faces.

I recall the last time I saw Grace. It was the night before I flew back and we were sitting around a table, talking. Grace was joking with me about my (lack of) love life. It was a bit heart-rending, but she asked my name 6 times in that conversation. When she had to leave, she took my hand and I was impressed at how strong her grip was.

Grace suffered a major stroke the Sunday after I left. Although she still had her faculties (as they were), she was moved into a hospice as her prognosis was "only a matter of days". Last Thursday night, I was online and checked my bank account and was very surprised to see a deposit- a sizable deposit. I called my parents (my mother had extended her stay in AZ after Grace's stroke and my father flown back), and they told me Grace had them put the money in. I was... stunned... to say the least- that she would think of me at all, much less in her situation. As she could not receive calls (and it was past 11pm in AZ), I wrote Grace a "get well"/ "thank you" card before I went to bed and I mailed it out Friday afternoon while doing some errands. A little before 7 Friday night, my mother called to say Grace passed away a few hours earlier- about the same time I had mailed her card.

Saturday afternoon, I excused myself from the yard sale I was hosting and called my mother and my aunt. I expressed my condolences and said a few words to my aunt about what a great woman Grace had been. After we hung up, I cried quietly in my kitchen for a moment or so- the first time I have done so for quite a while.
I have not slept since the news of her passing. Although the biological need may soon overtake, I find myself disinterested in sleep. When I close my eyes, all I can think of is Grace's hand grasping mine so firmly.

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(Grace from 10 years ago)